IT'S THE million dollar question - what do women really want? In a new book, psychologist Paco Underhill examines this very topic.
1. An automatic fat elimination process in the body.
"If scientists can discover superbugs and name them after good old Delhi, they can surely find the bug that can automatically eliminate all the fat the moment I bite into a burger with extra cheese," says Neha Rameja, 25, a marketing professional.
2. Husbands to be a little more appreciative of our cooking.
Please grow up guys, not everyone can cook like your mom - she spent 40 years in the kitchen. Can't you give us some more time?
3. A maid with a silencer attached.
Available 24x7, this wonder maid should keep her mouth shut and work for nothing. This is what men call a wife. "It is amazing how all the Ramu kaka s in movies are so obedient and pampering - too bad they don't exist in real life," says Sharada Ramakrishnan, 26, a software professional.
4. A man.
It is not too difficult to get one - but if you want one with the following features, you may have to look for him on another galaxy. "He should love you like you are the last woman in the universe. He should multitask, be amazing in bed and know exactly what we want," says Moushumi Gongopadhyay, a corporate trainer.
Nidhi Batra, brand manager at a food retail chain adds: "They should be there only when we need them because they can't stop nagging at times.
5. Not to be asked 'Where's my wallet/ glasses/ car keys/ handkerchief?' every single morning by the other half.
It is because of things like these that women sometimes wish they had a punching bag! Can men ever learn to take care of their precious belongings (no puns intended)?
6. Zero-calorie versions of hot chocolate fudge, chocolate truffle cake, and everything else in chocolate.
We'd love to live on pure junk food - potato chips, cheesy pizzas, fried chicken - on a regular basis without feeling guilty about it.
7. Holidays that give us the chance to read just one book, without being interrupted with 'I am HUNGRY, Mom?' or 'I am BORED' every few minutes.
"I have not read one good book since I gave birth to my precious little," says Malavika Datta, teacher and mother to an eight-year-old girl.
8. A body of our choice.
It could be Angelina Jolie's one month or J Lo's the next, depending on the kind of look we take a fancy to.
9. A long, hot bath with a glass of wine and aromatic candles all around and a scenic view from the bathroom.
No one knocking at the bathroom door, no barging in.
10. A decent home-cooked dinner prepared by our better halves.
When we are too exhausted to cook, men should chip in and prepare a meal for us and clean up the kitchen for a change. Note: Maggi is excluded from the list.
11. To be able to admire the dishy buttocks and the smooth skin of a younger man without feeling terrified when we realise we could be old enough to be his mother.
Just appreciating a hot bod doesn't mean we are cougars.
12. No backseat driving please.
We love the idea of long drives but constant criticism of our driving skills really puts us off. "If men have a problem with our driving, why can't they get us a dishy chauffeur or a car that drives by itself," says Rameja. Women can drive and that's the reason why the government decided to give them a driver's license.
13. No backbiting, tutting or arched eyebrows from male colleagues when we have to dash off from work to pick up a sick child.
It is a genuine problem, we would never go out shopping on the pretext of our child falling sick.
14. One fruitful, decent conversation with our husbands at least once a day.
Communication is the key to a successful relationship but competing with the latest man gadget - whether an iPhone or iPad – really gets on one's nerves.
15. To go out on the roads of Delhi and know we won't be stared at or eve-teased or mugged; to talk to the bankers without being asked 'Can we talk to your husband?'.
It is a man's world, we agree, but people should consider the fact that we might, just might, bring in half the household income, if not more. We do wish at times that we are spoken eye to eye rather than eye to breast.
16. Meaningful, loving sex, with a long, endless foreplay, preceded and followed by candlelight conversations, cuddles, chocolates and kisses.
It sounds cliched but women love cliches and have all the right to get a little selfish in bed once in a while. PS: A quickie will do only if we have to get up earlier than usual.
17. Endearing and well-thought out surprises.
Women love surprises and it is high time men understood this. We don't want diamond rings. An empty laundry basket, a bottle of that Sauvignon Blanc, possession of the TV remote for a whole evening, and a day to be spent exactly as we wish - just once in a blue moon.
18. A wardrobe that refreshes itself after every six months, says Rameja. "Who wants to wear something that is oh-so-last-season?" she asks. True. Everyone wants new clothes that can suit every occasion. But on the contrary we end up with a pile of not just last season’s clothes, but last decade's. It makes us feel dull as dishwater.
19. Good obedient children who are loving and appreciative, who don't treat their mothers as slaves. Can't children go to bed with a smile on their faces rather than crying at the injustice of their mothers? We've read 100 parenting books, for goodness sake. None of them seem to be working on our children.
20 Bras that fit.
We wonder why it is so difficult for us to get bras that are of the right size. Fancy, lacy, sexy bras that lift our cleavage and our moods would do wonders for sure. We hate it when someone points out bra straps peeping out of our sleeves.
21. Unlimited free local and international calls and a cell phone that upgrades itself every six months.
Women TALK and who wouldn't want to talk in style. But the exorbitant bills are a pain in the neck.
22. A high paying, stress-free, enjoyable and a satisfying job that needs the least amount of work.
"One can go off on vacations every two weeks," says Ramakrishnan. "And of course, I should be the boss," she adds.
23. A bed meant for a princess/ queen and for a change readied by the man of the house.
Huge fluffed-up pillows and a luxurious duvet that is changed regularly. Have men wondered why we don't want to spend time in bed?
24. Silver and bronze artefacts that never go dull... never a layer of dust anywhere, even after a dust storm. And white linen, upholstery and tapestry that never get dirty.
25. A day at the spa.
We need at least one day in a month at the spa, getting pampered without worrying about the fat bill we have to pay at the end of the day, says Ramakrishnan.
26. Lifelong supply of matching footwear, bags and watches.
It is a headache to get accessories that go with all our dresses. "Wouldn't it be great if our accessories changed colours according to the dresses we wear?" asks Gongopadhyay.
27. A Saturday night out dining with friends or at the movies rather than ending up watching television at home because the husband is busy at work. That would be the perfect way to end the week.
28. Jam free/clutter-free roads where we can drive without hearing swear words being used freely. Or else, be prepared for us to retort in similar fashion.
29. Pay our bills whenever we want to.
We hate being bugged by banks, and mobile phone service providers. We know we have to pay our bills and we are not running away with your money. "I wonder why these people don't go after the guys who give fake addresses and don't pay their bills regularly. We are law abiding women and we will give them their money when we have it," says Batra.
30. A clean home.
When a woman goes out for the day and leaves her husband in charge of the kids, she does not want to come back and see the children hungry and awake, tomato ketchup stains on the bed and messy bottles in the kitchen (including beer bottles). She wants the tables cleared of dirty dishes and no piles of dirty clothes on the floor.
A woman can always dream, can't she?
anindita.choudhury@ mailtoday. in With inputs from Daily Mail Reproduced From Mail Today. Copyright 2009. MTNPL. All rights reserved.
Saturday, 23 October 2010
Secret Of Life..... B-)
It's amazing that the divorce rate in the United States is estimated at 50%. It's actually pretty sad too. People are so quick to just exit out of a relationship without even trying. But here's a theory - how about learning to keep things happy before problems arise, learning small everyday things that can keep little stresses away? Isn't that a novel idea? I thought so, which is why I created this list of items that have helped me personally. I'm not saying that I have the fairytale relationship but after 13 years I have learned that the small yet simple gestures seem work well.
1. Communicate-not just about your feelings- but about your day. Share stories with one another about what is going on at work or in a friend's life; share what you saw on the news or in a magazine with your significant other if you found it interesting. Discussing regular day to day occurrences is just as important as staying in tune with each others' feelings. It keeps you in tune with your spouse on a daily basis.
2. Take showers together- it doesn't have to be sexual! My husband and I have done this from the beginning of our relationship, did it start out sexual? Probably. But over time it became an intimate thing, just extra time that we can spend together catching up on the day- it just happens that we are naked and in the shower!
3. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play-it's a young and fun thing to do. It keeps you playful and is a great way to relieve stress. Real life can get so with overwhelming with work, kids, bills, laundry, chores- sometimes a play break is what's needed to alleviate all of that, even if it's only for half an hour.
4. Take walks-morning walks are a great way to start your day, not a morning person? Take an evening walk. Getting fresh air and exercise together is good for your health and the health of your relationship. Walking relieves stress, keeps you fit and allows quality time to be spent together.
5. Date nights-put everything on hold for an hour or two and plan on just doing something alone with your spouse. It can be dinner, a walk, the mall, whatever, just make the time for just the two of you with no one else around, catch up on your day or week or just joke around and have fun. But making time for just the two of you is important.
6. Play video games or wrestle-a healthy dose of competition is always good and it can be an entertaining way to not only have fun but a great stress buster as well. Just don't take it too seriously and be a sore loser because that would defeat the whole purpose.
7. Have sex-even if you don't want to, you need to keep the sexual chemistry between you and your significant other alive. Being intimate and showing your love for one another is a significant part of your union.
8. Hold hands- it may seem insignificant; however, this small but intimate gesture shows that you care about each other even when you are doing something simple like walking from the car to the grocery store.
9. Give praise-telling your significant other that they are great at something can be a huge ego boost. It shows that you care and that you pay attention and like the way he/she does something. It's always nice to know that your spouse appreciates the things you do and the way you do them.
10. Be thankful-a simple thank you for taking the trash out, taking the kids to school, fixing that faucet or simply being a great spouse goes a long way. Letting someone know that you are thankful for what they do means a lot.
11. Have time apart-couples don't need to spend 24/7 together. Spending time away with the girls or the guys makes you appreciate one another. Have your own lives apart from one another. Schedule dinners or mini vacations if you can to keep up with friends.
12. Don't always nag-if you start nagging too much you will create resentment. Reminding someone of something a few times is one thing but becoming obnoxious about it will produce hostility and that's not the outcome that you are looking for. Take a different approach, ask nicely, explain what you need done and by when. The nicer you are the better.
13. Share advice-you never know when great, unexpected advice can come about. My husband and I work in two totally different professions yet we manage to swap advice on work all the time. The advice does not have to be work related, it can be about the kids, the chores, money management, it doesn't matter, be open to sharing different ideas.
14. Pick and choose your battles-Over the years I have learned that life is short and arguments are lame. Now I only get mad at things that I feel are truly important. I've learned to pick and choose my battles. Everyone will have that one battle that they choose to fight, just choose it carefully. Just think "is this really worth getting mad about? Will I still be mad about it this tomorrow morning? Will I even remember this next week?" Most of the time the answer is no. I've learned that this approach makes for a healthier and happier relationship and definitely causes less stress.
Your's
Saravana Boobathy K
1. Communicate-not just about your feelings- but about your day. Share stories with one another about what is going on at work or in a friend's life; share what you saw on the news or in a magazine with your significant other if you found it interesting. Discussing regular day to day occurrences is just as important as staying in tune with each others' feelings. It keeps you in tune with your spouse on a daily basis.
2. Take showers together- it doesn't have to be sexual! My husband and I have done this from the beginning of our relationship, did it start out sexual? Probably. But over time it became an intimate thing, just extra time that we can spend together catching up on the day- it just happens that we are naked and in the shower!
3. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play-it's a young and fun thing to do. It keeps you playful and is a great way to relieve stress. Real life can get so with overwhelming with work, kids, bills, laundry, chores- sometimes a play break is what's needed to alleviate all of that, even if it's only for half an hour.
4. Take walks-morning walks are a great way to start your day, not a morning person? Take an evening walk. Getting fresh air and exercise together is good for your health and the health of your relationship. Walking relieves stress, keeps you fit and allows quality time to be spent together.
5. Date nights-put everything on hold for an hour or two and plan on just doing something alone with your spouse. It can be dinner, a walk, the mall, whatever, just make the time for just the two of you with no one else around, catch up on your day or week or just joke around and have fun. But making time for just the two of you is important.
6. Play video games or wrestle-a healthy dose of competition is always good and it can be an entertaining way to not only have fun but a great stress buster as well. Just don't take it too seriously and be a sore loser because that would defeat the whole purpose.
7. Have sex-even if you don't want to, you need to keep the sexual chemistry between you and your significant other alive. Being intimate and showing your love for one another is a significant part of your union.
8. Hold hands- it may seem insignificant; however, this small but intimate gesture shows that you care about each other even when you are doing something simple like walking from the car to the grocery store.
9. Give praise-telling your significant other that they are great at something can be a huge ego boost. It shows that you care and that you pay attention and like the way he/she does something. It's always nice to know that your spouse appreciates the things you do and the way you do them.
10. Be thankful-a simple thank you for taking the trash out, taking the kids to school, fixing that faucet or simply being a great spouse goes a long way. Letting someone know that you are thankful for what they do means a lot.
11. Have time apart-couples don't need to spend 24/7 together. Spending time away with the girls or the guys makes you appreciate one another. Have your own lives apart from one another. Schedule dinners or mini vacations if you can to keep up with friends.
12. Don't always nag-if you start nagging too much you will create resentment. Reminding someone of something a few times is one thing but becoming obnoxious about it will produce hostility and that's not the outcome that you are looking for. Take a different approach, ask nicely, explain what you need done and by when. The nicer you are the better.
13. Share advice-you never know when great, unexpected advice can come about. My husband and I work in two totally different professions yet we manage to swap advice on work all the time. The advice does not have to be work related, it can be about the kids, the chores, money management, it doesn't matter, be open to sharing different ideas.
14. Pick and choose your battles-Over the years I have learned that life is short and arguments are lame. Now I only get mad at things that I feel are truly important. I've learned to pick and choose my battles. Everyone will have that one battle that they choose to fight, just choose it carefully. Just think "is this really worth getting mad about? Will I still be mad about it this tomorrow morning? Will I even remember this next week?" Most of the time the answer is no. I've learned that this approach makes for a healthier and happier relationship and definitely causes less stress.
Your's
Saravana Boobathy K
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)